I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am available for nakedness
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
