Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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