You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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