i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
