How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
