When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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