im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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