she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
