laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My ass is underappreciated
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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