The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
