Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
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Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street