My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
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Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster