I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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