Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line