Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
