How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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