So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
