Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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