he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
