I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize