i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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