it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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