My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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