when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter