I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize