i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
