Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
