Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
