I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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