hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
