Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
