Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
