God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
