College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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