somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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