ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
