He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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