My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
