he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize