I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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