Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
