last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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