good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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