happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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