How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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