I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
