your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
