i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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