No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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