ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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