it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
