there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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