you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
