She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I lost the right to judge tonight
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
