fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
