My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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