Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I lost the right to judge tonight
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
